Profession Jokes - Farmer Jokes
The Irishman's Missing Dog
An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable. His wife says, "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?" So he does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
Q: Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
A: In a hog cabin!
Cow Manure Use
A little boy runs across this farmer who has a truckload of cow manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with all that cow poop. The farmer tells the little boy, ''I'm taking it home to put on my strawberries.'' The little boy looks up at the farmer and says, ''I don't know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries.''
A happy corn farmer grins from ear to ear.
Mike Mooney, a Yankee, was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with his teeth. The farmer said, "This one will go a little over a 100."
Astonished the Yankee said, "Who are you trying to fool? You can't weigh a pig that way."
The farmer laughed and called to his young son, "Boy, come over here and weigh that pig for this man." The boy obliged by bending over and picking up the pig by its tail with his teeth.
Turning to his father the boy said, "This here pig weighs about 100 pounds." The Yankee was having no part of this so in order to convince him the farmer told his son to go to the house and get his mother so she could weigh the pig. After a short delay the son returned and said, "Ma says she will be right down after she's finished weighing the mailman".