Profession Jokes - Farmer Jokes

Donkey, Chicken and a Rooster

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said, "Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it." The farmer replied, "That's not a donkey, that's an ass." So, the man said, "Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said, "I like that chicken. I'll take it too." The farmer replied, "That is a pullet." So the man said, "Okay, I'll take the pullet." He was looking at a rooster and said, "Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too." The farmer replied, "That's not a rooster, it's a cock." So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him, "Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and he'll go again." So the man drives away. All of a sudden, the ass stops, and the pullet and the cock fly out of the back. The man is trying to get them back when a woman comes out and says, "Can I help you?" The man replies, "Yeah, could you grab my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Rabbit Mule And Rooster

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. He buys a piece of land and heads down there, now all he needs are the animals. He goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning. The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks." "Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm." "We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk." "Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home." "We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear." So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops. The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Chuckie Chicken

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes."
"I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie.
"Marge," whispered Mildred.
"What?" said Marge.
"I think the guy next to me is a pervert."
"What makes you think so?" asked Marge.
"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred.
"Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age it isn't anything we haven't seen before."
"I thought so too," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous