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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Farmer's Warning

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?" The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that." The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis." So the farmer promised he would. Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

Cow Talk

Q: What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

A: Udder nonsense!

Too Deep

Q: Why can’t Polish farmers raise chickens?

A: They plant the eggs too deep.

Farm Therapy

A farmer strolls over to visit his neighbor, and finds him dancing, naked, in the barn in front of the farm equipment.

The farmer gasps, "Whoa! What are you doing?!"

His neighbor replies, "Well, me and the wife haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately, and our therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

The Clergyman and the Young Farmer

A clergyman walking down a country lane sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man.  "My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said, "everyone is entitled to a break!  Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.

Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay!"