Letter From the FBI

Dear Mr. Starr:
The test on the dress came back inconclusive. Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.
Apologies,
The FBI

Dog Checkup

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead.'' She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure. The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked around the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead.'' She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?'' The doctor said ''$300'' She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??'' He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan.''

Writers' Quotes

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy: "I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
William Faulkner: "I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87."
Steve Martin: "I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."
Mel Brooks: "It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
Robert Benchley: "A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction."