Dentist Rx

A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulls out a large syringe to give him an anesthesia shot. "No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man exclaims. So she starts to hook up the nitrous oxide tank and the man says, "I can't do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me." The dentist then asks the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No," he says, "I'm fine with pills." So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them. "What did I just take," he asked. "Viagra," replied the dentist. "I'll be damed," said the man. "I didn't know Viagra works as a pain killer." "It doesn't, said the wise lady, "But it'll give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."

Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

What Day Is It

My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, "What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?" My husband quickly answered, "Election day." The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President. The Bush reality now is that the boy doesn't have to grow up?!