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The best jokes and joke writers!

You've Got Mail

Q: What's the secret to telling a good postman joke?

A: It's all in the delivery

Second Opinion

A guy visits his psychiatrist, who tells him he's crazy.  The guy replies, "I want a second opinion".  The psychiatrist replies, "Okay, you're ugly too!"

Gynecologist and Delivery

Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common?

A: They can smell it but they can't eat it!

Girls Night Out

The other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek. Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other butt cheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet, then got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!

Looking For A Job

Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."

Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants."

Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor."

Employer: "More than we can use already."

Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can do   paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."

Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications."

Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"

Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening."