Good Politician

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

Shut-Up and Trouble

In a small town in California there lived two boys, Shut-up and Trouble. These boys were friends, but every once-in-a while they would get into a fight. One time after they had both just gotten ice-cream, Trouble's ice-cream fell. Trouble then stole Shut-up's ice-cream and ran away. Shut-up ran after Trouble but eventually lost him, sat on a curb, and started to cry. A police officer pulled up and asked, "What's your name?" "Shut-up." The officer got angry and asked the same question again and got the same reply. Finally, he asked the same question and got the same reply and then said, "Boy, are you looking for Trouble?" And Shut-up said, "Yeah, that fool stole my ice-cream"

A Surgeon, an Architect and a Politician

A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, and that surely was a surgical operation." "Maybe," said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job." "Sure now," interrupted the politician, "but somebody created the chaos first."