Checking My Balance

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

Class Guessing Game

The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described.
Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem."
Timmy: "I know what it is, it's an apple."
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." "OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it."
Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange."
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking."
Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?"
Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!" Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it."
Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!"
Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!"

Condom Company

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."