Downhill Skis

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

The Real Meaning

"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
-I'm wasted, but I'm too embarrassed to have anybody see who I'm taking home with me.

"I'm not used to these darts."
-I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I'm this bombed.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
-One of us is going to pass out before it's time for another round.

"I've had like 10 beers already."
-I've only had three beers, but I need an excuse to behave this way.

"I'm out of here. I have to work in the morning."
-I owe $100 to the guy who just walked in the door and I've been avoiding him since football season.

"What do you have on tap?"
-What's cheap?

Density

My girlfriend must be calculating velocity
She called and said that she needs time & distance