Mistaken Identity

I was once involved in a case of mistaken identity. It was a good thing, because if they hadn't got the wrong person, I'd be in prison right now.

I Want Some Milk

Gloria, a blonde, once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman, Alan, to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

Old Photographers 2

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing