Extreme Circumcision

A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated." "What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that." "Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist." So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was stripped, laid on a cart, wheeled into the operating room, anaesthetized, and CHWOP!  off they came. The next day, he woke up in a double room and, wanting to be socialable, asked the man in the next bed what he was in for. "Oh, I was circumcised," the man said. "Son of a bitch! That's the word I was looking for!"

E.T. Phone Home

Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Hemophiliac and Virgin

Q: What do a hemophiliac and a virgin have in common?
A: One prick and they're done.