Viagra Heist

Q: Did you hear about the crooks who stole a truckload of Viagra?
A: Police issued an APB for hardened criminals.
A: The Judge will likely impose a stiff sentence.

Cramming

"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather. "Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.

General's Funeral

The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington National Cemetery. All the air lines were booked and there were no other planes available. Someone came up with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at 5:00 A.M.The newspapers reported the incident with the headlines, "The Whirly Bird Gets The Urn"