Dictionary Spelling

How do you spell elephant? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t" That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it!"

Beer Nuts

Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Fish Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.