Survey Says

The U.S. Government decided to gather data to better understand what people say right before they get into an auto accident. 89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, shit!'' In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''

Dumb Montana Laws

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Dumb Montana Laws:

1. Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
2. (Repealed) In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
3. It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
4. It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
5. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
6. Excelsior Springs - Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
7. Helena - No item may be thrown across a street.
8. Salisbury - Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
9. Whitehall - It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. 

Minnesota Women

Q: What do you call a 300 pound woman in Minnesota?
A: Anorexic