We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Temperatures and What They Mean

Temperatures and What They Mean

40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Italian cars don't start.

32 Water freezes.

30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless.

25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.

20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath.

15 N.Y. City water freezes. Politicians begin to talk aobut the homeless.

12 You plan a vacation to Mexico.

10 Too cold to snow

5 You need jumper cables to get the car going. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

3 You plan a vacation in Houston.

0 Too cold to skate. American cars don't start.

-5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.

-10 Too cold to think. Politicians actually do something about the homeless.

-15 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-20 You plan a 2-week hot bath.

-25 The mighty Monongahela freezes. Japanese cars don't start.

-30 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button... Below

-30 The kids call home from college. End of the world...

Minnesota Women

Q: What do you call a 300 pound woman in Minnesota?

A: Anorexic

Small Pepsi

Q: In what state can you find small Pepsi's?

A: Mini-soda (Minnesota).

No Grande

Q: Which state has the smallest drinks?

A: Mini-soda.

Vikings Counting

Q: How do the Vikings count to 10?

A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10