Go to Las Vegas

There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.'' He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.'' Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and move to Las Vegas.'' He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, ''Go to Caesar's Palace.'' He goes to Caesar's Palace and the voice says, ''Make your way to the roulette tables.'' He goes to the roulette tables and the voice says, ''Put all your money on red 23.'' He puts all his money on red 23. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up black 17.
The voice says, ''Fuck.''

New Hampshire Crazy Law

• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• You may not run machinery on Sundays.
• You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
• If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.

Mr. New Jersey

"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet." -- Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars