U.S. State Jokes
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
A New Tearful Bride
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"
This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas." "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."
Michigan State Fans
Q: What do you get when you have a basement full of Michigan State fans?
A: A whine cellar.
Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria were discussing boyfriends, past and present. Suddenly, a nurse from New York City said, "Well, I have discovered men are all alike!" Whereupon, a pert little nurse from Dallas laughed and slapped the table. "Gal," she said, "men are all ah like, too!"