We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Saddam Drinking Out

Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?

A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Next Stop

Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

A: Everywhere

No Walmart

Q: Why aren't there any Walmart's in Afghanistan?

A: Because there are too many Targets.

Top 10 Things Bowe Bergdahl Learned from the Taliban

10. It’s normal to own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

9. Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.

8. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

7. You believe vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. If you don’t like what someone else is doing, you simply declare Jihad against them.

5. You believe television is dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

4. You forget that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

3. You often utter the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

2. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

1. It’s not unusual to have a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Taunting

A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road, when they hear the voice of an American from behind a sand dune, “Hey you bastards! One Marine is better than ten wimpy ISIS fighters!” The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over to the sand dune, where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. After a minute of silence, the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than one hundred of you ISIS scumbags!” Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and a huge gun fight breaks out. After 10 minutes of battle, there is again silence, until the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters.” The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought … then silence. Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men … it’s a trap. There’s not just one marine over there….there’s two.”