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The best jokes and joke writers!

If Men Ruled The Sports World

  • Once a year, you could gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets and go pillage a nearby town.
  • The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From a Different Camera Angle."
  • The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers' mascot.

A Golfer And A Sky-Diver

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

Remarks Never Heard At Daytona

  • None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.
  • Tampax! Get your Tampax here!
  • Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!
  • Sex with your sister? Man, that's sick.
  • My God, this is a splendid Merlot.
  • Hey, you with the large breasts, out of the way. We're trying to watch a race here.
  • Jeeves, be a good man and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.
  • What a coincidence, Hank, all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too.
  • These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert.
  • Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor.
  • Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley.
  • And now, singing our national anthem, international recording artist Boy George.

Snowboarding Lesson

Q: Three snowboarders are riding in the backseat of a car. Who is driving?

A: The sheriff!

Snowboard Instructor

Q: What do you say to a snowboard instructor in summer?

A: A Big Mac and fries please!