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Sports Jokes
Olympians
Q: Why couldn't the Athlete listen to her music?
A: Because she broke her RECORD!
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Clever Farmer
This big lawyer from the city was watching Duck Dynasty on A&E and decided that duck hunting might be just the thing he needed to relieve his stress. He drove out to the country and spotted a bunch of ducks in a pond. He quickly stopped his car, got out his shotgun and managed to shoot one of the ducks. A farmer ran out of a nearby building upon hearing the shot and screams at the lawyer, "Hey you can't shoot that duck on my property. That duck belongs to me. Hand it over!" The lawyer says, 'Hell no I shot him so I get to keep him!" The farmer suggests they settle it 'country style' (which is to kick each other in the nuts till the other one falls over). The farmer goes first and slams the lawyer with a nice hard stiff kick. Upon receiving the kick, the lawyer damn near collapses from the pain. The lawyer managed to regain his balance and stuttered, "Its my turn." The farmer looked at him with a smirk and said "aw Hell, keep the damn duck!"
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Old Fishermen
Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way
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