Men And Cats
Q: How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?
A: They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.
Man Opens Car Door for Wife
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is!
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and said, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'"
Q: What's the best way to torture a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.