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The best jokes and joke writers!

Raggedy Anne and Pinnochio

Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy pen?

A: Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's  face saying, "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Cheating Wife

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the doctor, "Take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

Wife Control

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and said, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."  The first two guys were amazed.  "What happened then?" they asked.  "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'"

Why They Call It the Wonder Bra

Q:  Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

A:  When you take it off you wonder where her tits went!

Little Old Ladies

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?" The other old lady said, "It's a condom." "A condom? Where do you get those?" The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?" "One that would fit a Camel."