Sex Jokes - Prostitute Jokes
The Madam opens the brothel door to see a well-dressed elderly man standing in the doorway. "Can I help you?" the Madam asks. "I want Natalie," the old man replies. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps someone else...?" "No. I want Natalie." Just then, Natalie appears and tells the old man that she charges $1,000 per hour. Without so much as a blink he reaches into his pocket and pulls out ten crisp new $100 bills. The two go up to her room for an hour, whereupon he calmly leaves. The next night the old man appears again demanding Natalie. Natalie explains that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, that there are no discounts and that the rate is still $1,000 for one hour. But once again, he takes out the money. The two go up to the room and he calmly leaves an hour later. When he shows up for the third consecutive night, no one can believe it. Again he hands Natalie the money and up to the room, they go. At the end of the hour, Natalie decides to question the old man. "I'm not used to having the same customer come back three nights in a row. Do you mind if I ask where you're from?" "I'm from St. Louis." "Really," replies Natalie. "I have a cousin who lives there." "I know", says the old man. "Your cousin died and left you $3000 in her will. I'm her attorney - you've now been paid."
"Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season." "Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a hooker." "No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight!"
The Blind Man in the Brothel
A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob.
He says to her, "Excuse me, aren't you Karen Carlton, and didn't you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?"
"Yes. How'd you know?"
"I never forget a face."
Wait in the Car
Upon returning to their car from a shopping, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. "I've got people waiting in my car!"
The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine." "Well? What did he want to do?" they all asked. She said, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he did not have that much. So, I told him a blow job would be $75, but he did not have that much either. Finally I said, 'Well how much do you have?' The marine said he only had $25. So, I told him, 'For $25, all I can give you is a hand job.' He agreed and after getting the finances straight, he pulled it out. I put one hand on it. Then, I put the other hand above that one." She paused, raised her eyebrows, and then continues, "Then I put the first hand above the second hand..." "Oh my God!" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge! Then what did you do?" "I loaned him $75!"