Sex Jokes - Prostitute Jokes

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FIling Taxes

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "Okay, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Accountant Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Motel 65

Ethel checked into a Motel on her 65th Birthday, she was lonely, a little depressed at her advancing age so decided to risk an adventure. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages. She looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony, a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six-pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a  dime off his well-oiled buns.
She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. "Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?"
Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, so she rushed right in, "I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.  We'll go at it all night ... tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready! Now how does that sound?"
He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes)
Submitted BY: PatB

Office - Show Me the Money

A boss said to his secretary I want to have sex with you and I'll make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, "Do it but ask him for $2000, if you pick up the money very fast he won't have enough time to undress himself."
So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, "What happened?" She responds, "The bastard used coins."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Work & Office Jokes (About Boss) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Anonymous