Angel Wings

Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. "I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings fall off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.

Careers

Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Son: I want to be a pizza delivery boy or a plumber.
Dad: Stop watching porn son.

Banana Bread

Banana Bread Ingredients:

• 2 laughing eyes
• 2 loving arms
• 2 well shaped legs
• 2 firm milk containers
• 1 fur-lined mixing bowl
• 1 large banana

Instructions:

1. Look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms.
2. Spread well shaped legs slowly.
3. Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased, check with middle finger.
4. Add banana, work up and down until well creamed.
5. Lower nuts and sigh with relief, when banana is soft, bread is done!
6. Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but "do not lick the bowl."

NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.