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The best jokes and joke writers!

Seduction

Q: How do you seduce a fat woman?

A: Piece of cake.

Good and Bad Girls

Q: What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

A: A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed.
A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

Paying Rent

"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor. "You didn't do it, did you?" "I have to admit I did, though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"

Poetic justice

A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park.

The witness: They were fucking your honor

The judge:  Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way:

The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear until tiny sounds came to my ear. There was this couple on the ground there and his balls were dangling in the air and you know his what was in her you know where.  If that wasn't fucking your Honor I wasn't there.

Slept Like an Animal

Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy, "you can sleep with the cows," and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said, "I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."