Sex Jokes - One Night Stand Jokes

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Stuck Microphone

The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and enjoy your stay in Toronto".
Well the Capt. forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well skipper, wotcha gonna do in Toronto?"
Now all ears in the plan are listening in to this conversation. "Well", says the skipper, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and go for a mega-huge dump. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and slip the old salami to her all night".
Well, everyone in the planes trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to get the intercom off. Half way down, she trips over an old ladies handbag - ***splat *** and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, "No need to run dearie, he's got to go for a shit first!"

Categories: Airplane Jokes (Take-off / Landing Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Flight Attendant Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Infamous Stud

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong.  "I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop fucking his wife." "So stop," the barkeep said. "I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The prick didn't sign his name!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Perfect Diagnosis

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhead. "I would suggest to you, young lady, began the doctor,  that you discontinue some of your running around, stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early." Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes , Profession Jokes (OBGYN Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous