Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes

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Soap Dispenser

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser." To test her theory she also pulls his dick... and sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries once more and to her delight she yells... "Look, hand cream!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes)
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Anonymous

English Final Problem

At a high school an English teacher is busy with work as a student approaches the teacher and asks when the test final test will be. She tells the whole class and a smart-ass jock raises his hand. "What if that day I just stayed home because I was sexually exhausted?" "Well, I guess you'd just have to use your other hand to write with."

Categories: School Jokes (High School Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes)
Anonymous

Vaseline

My girlfriend used Vaseline on a hand job today.
I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.

Categories: Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Submitted BY: Flyingv66