Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes

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Gift of Her Choosing

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."

Anonymous

Orange Penis

An old man goes to the doctor and says "Dr., I don't know what's wrong with me. My dick is orange." The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted anything orange. The old man said "No." The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recently been exposed to any chemicals at work. The old man said "No, I'm retired." The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with any chemicals in his garage. The old man replied "No Dr., I told you, I'm retired. All I do is sit around all day, watch pornos and eat Cheetos...

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Anonymous

Crazy Sally went to her Gynecologist...

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous