Sex Jokes - Bestiality Jokes
Farmer Brown had been screwing one of his pigs for 5 years, when all of a sudden he was hit by pangs of conscience. It bothered him so much that he decided that he just had to tell his priest about it in confession. The priest was shocked and could only say to Farmer Brown, "Well, was the pig a male or a female?" "A female, of course," shouted Farmer Brown!. "What do you think I am...some sort of queer?"
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.
Legion Camel #3
A new lieutenant in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?" The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels." The lieutenant can't believe it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn. The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp descended on the camel pens like Huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenant sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!" "Good God man," said the lieutenant. There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?" The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"
Scottsmen With Kilts
Q: Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?
A: The sound of the zipper scares the sheep.
Jump Two Feet
Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"