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The best jokes and joke writers!

Shipwrecked Man

A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, ''Hey, could you go walk the dog?''

Sex With Sheep

Q: Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?

A: So they push back harder.

Three Redneck Lies

  1. The pickup is paid for.
  2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
  3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Easter Bunny

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Three Dogs at the Vet

Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.

The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."

The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."

The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"

"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.

"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."