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Sex Jokes
Busted
Caught my wife having sex with my best friend.
She can pack her bags and get out and he's going back to the dog shelter.
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Couples Honeymoon Night
A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night. The bride rolled over and said, "That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?" The husband replied "Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it." "That's nice honey" she replied, "What did it look like after you rooted it?" "Like a bulldog eating porridge" the husband replied.
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Virgin's Fourth Marriage
A mature woman was in her priest's study for counseling on her upcoming fourth wedding.
"Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?" she asked.
"My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be." the priest responded.
"Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I'm marrying a lawyer and I'm sure I'm going to get screwed!"
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