School Jokes - Others

"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now who can name another plant prefixed by 'dog'?" "I can," shouted a student. "cauliflower!"

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Two southern ladies are sitting at the country club by the pool. The first southern lady says, "When I had my first child, my husband bought me a diamond ring." The second lady says, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady says, "When my second child was born, my husband took me on a cruise." The second lady says, ''Well isn't that nice." The first lady continues, "When my third child was born, my husband took me on a trip around the world." And the second lady says, once again, "Well, isn't that nice." The first lady asks, "Well, what did your husband get you when your first child was born?" The second lady replies, "My husband sent me to finish school." The first lady asks, "Well why did he do that?" And the second lady says, "So I could learn to say 'Well isn't that nice', instead of 'FUCK YOU!"

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants".

Q: What is the fruitiest lesson?

A: History, because it's full of dates!