School Jokes - Others

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. "Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher. "Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."

1. You can usually find someone to do it with.
2. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
3. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
4. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
5. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
6. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
7. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
8. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
9. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
10. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

True story. Sunday, November 29, 1992 An investigation by the Dallas Morning News revealed the city's public schools employ at least 185 people who have been convicted of felonies, including two convicted murderers. In response, the school superintendent promised that the city would begin periodic records checks.

Q: What did George W Bush get on his S.A.T.'s?

A: Drool.