Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
Q: What problem did the cross-eyed teacher have?
A: She couldn't control her pupils.
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
Identifying Famous Quotes
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with "This was England's finest hour." Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said, "Winston Churchill!" "Congratulations," said the teacher, "You may go home early." The teacher then said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but - " Before she could finish the quote, another young lady belted out, "John F. Kennedy!" "Very good," said the teacher, "You may go also." Irritated that he had missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnny said, "I wish those girls would just shut up." Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to know who said it. Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, "Bill Clinton. I'll see you Monday."
Little Johnny and the Teacher
One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class, "What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?" Two children raised their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him, she chose little Mary. "I think your heart goes first because, that's were your emotions of love are." "Very interesting," replied the teacher. Seeing no one else had their hand raised but Johnny, she finally called on him. "I think your feet go up first." Confused, but relieved, the teacher said, "Why is that?" Johnny replied, "Once when I walked in my parents room I saw my dad on my mom, and she had her feet in the air saying, "Oh God!"