Q: Can your mother predict the future with cards?
A: Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.
A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"
Ice Cream 101
Q: Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sundae school.
Q: Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?
A: It improved DiVision !
Q: What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
A: Snow and Tell.