Q: Why can't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it's pointless.
Q: Can your mother predict the future with cards?
A: Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.
Ice Cream 101
Q: Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sundae school.
Q: Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?
A: It improved DiVision !
Glue to Glue
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.