Santa's Gas Mileage

Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Blonde Dating

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Sex Education

A father has decided that his three daughters were now old enough to understand the more serious things in life, so he called them one by one to his room. When the first one came in, he took down his pants and asked if his daughter knew what it was. His daughter replied, "Yes daddy, that's a penis." Shocked that his daughter already knows so much, he grounded his daughter for a week. He called his second daughter in and also took down his pants. When he asked if she knew what it was, she also replied, "Yes daddy, that's a penis." Needless to say, he also grounded her for one week.He called his last daughter into the room, took down his pants, and asked if she knew what it was. She replied "No, daddy, what is it?" The father was happy, knowing that his daughter is pure.
" My good daughter, this is a penis." He says, starting his talk, but is is interrupted by his daughter saying, "You call that a penis?"