One Way to Learn English
Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England for a visit. "Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector. "No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all." "How long do you plan to stay?" "Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks." "By the way, where did you learn English?" "From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio."
Blow Up Dolls
I went to my local sex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? I said blonde. Then he asked Muslim or Christian?
I asked what's the difference?
He said the Muslim blows itself up.
Class of Faith
While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family's faith to class. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, "I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug." The second child said, "I am Jewish and this is my Star of David." The third child said, "I am Catholic and this is my rosary." The final child said, "I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish."
Q: What is the most religious insect?
A: A mosque-ito!
Q: Why are Muslims worried about Trump's immigration plans?
A: Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.