Religion Jokes - God Jokes

Ten Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.
First he goes to the French and says: "I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?" "Ah, oui? What do zey say?" "For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery" "Oh, non, non, merci, non", and they send the Angel on his way.
The Angel then goes to the Germans: "I have new Commandments from God." "Ja? Vat do they say?" "Well for example: Thou shalt not kill" The Germans shake their heads, "I think's not, nein, danke!"
The Angel, perturbed, goes to the Jews and says: "I have new Commandments from God..." "How much?" "Well...they're free"
"We'll take ten."

Categories: Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes)
Anonymous

Religion Sampler

So I went to a mixed religion convention. The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!” I smiled and told him I was not paralysed. The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today! I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me. The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!” I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me” The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!” I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

Categories: Religion Jokes (Buddhism Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jesus Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Why Man, Then Woman

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Categories: Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes)
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Anonymous