Lord Please Send Food

A Christian and an atheist were neighbors. The Christian one day yells, ''Lord please send me food." The atheist heard this and replies ''There is no GOD!'' The next day the Christian wakes up and goes to her porch to find that there were bags of groceries. She yells, ''Thank You LORD for this food!" As soon as soon as the Christian said that the atheist jumps out from the brush and replies, ''Your GOD didn't give you that food, I did!'' Without wasting a second the Christian yells to the Lord ''Thank you for sending me this food and making the Satan pay for it!"

Creating Brunettes

Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Because the blondes couldn't manage it either.

Moses Goes to the Doctor

Moses goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, as you know I'm an avid hiker, but lately I can't climb a mountain without getting terrible stomach cramps and gas.  Do you have anything that can make my trip more pleasant?"
The doctor said, "Here, take these two tablets, just try not to break them."