God Humor

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asked the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A minute."
Smith asked, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A penny."
Smith asked, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replied, "In a minute."

The Contest with GOD!

There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore. One of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed. The scientist says to God "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you." God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What do you think?" The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?" God: "A man-making contest." The scientist: "Sure! No problem". The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!" God replies, "No, no, no... You go get your own dirt."

To Computer: Is there a God?

Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question. They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, "IS THERE A GOD?" Suddenly there was a loud crash, and in a brilliant explosion of silicon and plastic the computers fused into what appeared to the scientists to be one large computer in place of the many smaller ones. One of the scientists raced to the printer as it finally output its answer. "There is now", read the printout.