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The best jokes and joke writers!

Everyone Makes Mistakes

When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!

Chemist's Fast Prayer

Chemist's fast prayer: Dear Lord, if I mix sodium with concentrated HNO3, and add to it Plutonium, would you take care of me?

God Made Eve First

In this world God made Eve first and one day he came to the Garden to check on her. So he asks her how is everything going. Eve says everything is wonderful except one thing-the third breast he gave her it is a real pain in the ass. When she is playing with her breast she only has two hands and when she is running she can only hold up two breasts -- could he please do something to help her? So God says no problem-he reaches down and pulls the breast off and tosses it under a bush. Eve is very thankful. When God checks in on Eve a while later she is happy with her breasts but is lonely. She points out that all the animals have a partner to be with so why can't she. "Well," God says, "When I made you I used all the human parts I had there is nothing left to make a man with. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do." Well, Eve says, what about the useless tit that you threw under the bush?

Talk with God

MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair.

GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.

MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes.

GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.

MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense.

GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!

God Created Man First

Q: Why did God create man first?

A: So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.