Jewish American Princess

Q: Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex?
A: She can't stand it to see her husband enjoy himself.

Good Holiday Deed

A worker in the post office is sorting through the mail when she sees a letter addressed to "God." She opens it up and finds a handwritten note from an old lady. The note says she desperately needs $200 dollars to pay her heating bills, and she has nowhere else to turn. She hoped God could figure out a way to send her the money. It’s getting close to holiday season, so the kind hearted postal worker decides to take up a collection. She ends up getting $150 and mails the cash to the lady. A few weeks later, there’s another letter addressed to God from the same old woman. The worker opens it up, and it says: "Dear God, Thank you so much for the money you sent. It helped me through a difficult time and I’m glad that I have faith. However, I received only $150. Those damn postal workers must have the other $50!"

Blow Up Dolls

I went to my local sex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? I said blonde. Then he asked Muslim or Christian?
I asked what's the difference? 
He said the Muslim blows itself up.