Directions

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town.  I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday.   I'll show you how to get to Heaven." The little boy replied with a chuckle.  "You're kidding me, right?   You don't even know the way to the Post Office!”

Answering Machine - Confessional Hotline

Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail! 

Amsterdam Refugee

A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"