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The best jokes and joke writers!

Welcome to Hell

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

Devil: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure I love to drink.

Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. We call it Tequila Monday and that's all we do. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right!  You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer, it's okay...you're already dead!

Guy: No way!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before ...

Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ...

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!!

Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!

Devil: So... are you gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you're gonna HATE Fridays!

Yo Mama - Hi Five God

Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.

Black and Jewish

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

First Black Man

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?

A: "Damn, I burnt one."

Black Jesus

Q: Why do some people think Jesus is black?

A: Because he's supposed to be our father and never came back.