Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

Last Wish

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...'"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Winning

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He leaves the casino in a limo, calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife says, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Caribbean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Word Play Jokes , Money Jokes (Rich People Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous