Disability Jokes - Deaf Jokes

Deaf Sex

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language, natch).
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time."
"And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......two hundred times"

Categories: Disability Jokes (Deaf Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Tough Luck

Q: What did the blind, deaf, mute, quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
A: Cancer!

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Cancer Jokes) , Disability Jokes (Quadriplegic Jokes) , Disability Jokes (Deaf Jokes) , Disability Jokes (Blind Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Concerned Husband

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness". Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Old Age Jokes (Hearing Jokes) , Disability Jokes (Deaf Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous