Blonde Father

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blonde guy turns to the girl and angrily says "Alright. Who's the other father!"

Won't Like It

While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. "That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, "But I'm sure my wife won't like it."
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess"....

Frenchman Kills His Wife

A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, "Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?"