Coffee is better than Women.

Why Coffee Is Better Than Women:
Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have some. 
You won't get arrested for trying to buy coffee at 3 AM. 
Coffee never runs out. 
No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee. 
When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
Coffee can be ready in 15 minutes or less.
White men can take black coffee home to their parents. 
Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream on it. 
You can always heat up coffee. 
Coffee smells and looks good in the morning. 
If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.
Two words; INSTANT COFFEE !

Reasons For Being Stood Up

Reasons Dates Have Given For Standing Someone Up

• I showed up early and decided I just didn't feel like going out after all, so I went home before you arrived.
• My dog died.
• My neighbor's bird died, and I had to console my neighbor.
• I figured that probably wasn't your real picture, so I didn't bother coming over.
• I overslept.
• I took the wrong freeway exit and got lost, and after 40 minutes, I gave up, turned around, and went home.
• I know I said I'd be at home at 8:00 P.M., but I went out to a movie at 6:00 P.M. and had such a good time out after meeting some friends at the movie that I forgot all about our date and went out to dinner with them.
• I had the address, but forgot which city you lived in.
• Yesterday was the last day of my vacation, so I went two-stepping and ran into my ex there, and we fell in love again during a slow dance, so I can't date you any more, but I'd still like us to be friends.
• My roommate overdosed and I had to take him to the emergency room.

Blind Date

A girl goes on a blind date. The blind date hadn't been all that great, and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, her date suddenly said, "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear. She glanced down and said, "Nice design - does it also come in men's sizes?"