Clothing State

What kind of clothes are there?
Women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, bio-hazard.

Under Arrest

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

The Purpose of Breasts

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. "Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"
"What do you mean?" says his mother.
"Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling 'God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!'"