Relationship Jokes

Still in Mourning

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday.  Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world.  Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.  Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?"  She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."  He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black condom?"  He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Saving Up

This old geezer of 78 marries a girl of 18. The morning after the wedding night, the girl comes down with a pained expression on her face. "What's the matter, dear?" asks the woman at the front desk. "Well," sniffed the girl, "He told me he'd been saving up for 60 years, and I thought he meant his money!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Horsie Ride

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in the Act.
Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, "Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy can I ride on your back?" Daddy was relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, he agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually gets bucked off!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous